Professionally speaking, missing a blog post because you are depressed is no excuse. You do what is expected of you, and you keep on doing it, no matter the cost. So I guess it’s just as well that I’m not doing this blog to earn money, because when things go wrong with my life, I tend to just stop and do nothing.
What do you do when you are hit with the reality that your expectations will not be met?
For me I expected that my deployment would have been weeks ago, but then my employer said I have to wait another 3 months. It wouldn’t be too bad, if only I wasn’t waiting two years for this.
And the wait is hard. I left my previous job for this, and being unemployed for 2 years is no joke.
But I am a Stoic. So how do I deal with this?
Dichotomy of Control
Stoics believe that accepting the reality of the dichotomy of control is the secret to happiness. There are things out of your control, and things that are out of your control. Thus the dichotomy, the two sides of it.
What is out of my control? My deployment is completely out of my control. There are no actions I could do to influence it to go any faster. So then what is in my control? Stoics would say our reactions to events are the main reason for our sadness.
Life is too hard? Be depressed.
Life is unfair? Be depressed.
But what if:
Life is hard? I don’t need to be depressed.
Life is unfair? I don’t need to be depressed.
As a person attempting to be Stoic, the pre-conditioning in my life is making it hard to be Stoic. How can someone who has had his self-esteem broken so many times in past simply shrug off disappointment?
I’m meditating on this. How I could convince myself that being depressed will not solve anything. Life doesn’t care about my emotions, so expressing your sadness will not help.
I am not a victim of my circumstances. Suffering is an option, but not the option.
At this point, I can call all that rhetoric, but in so many ways they are true. The hard part is convincing myself that they are true.
How do you deal with life when you get depressed?